


Coping

by GanglyLimbs



Category: RWBY
Genre: Eating Disorders, Friends helping each other cope, My sad children, Sleep Deprivation, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, everyone has PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-26 23:19:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9928418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GanglyLimbs/pseuds/GanglyLimbs
Summary: Jaune stares at his shield a lot.Jaune doesn't sleep as much anymore.Jaune remembers to eat. Sometimes.Jaune doesn't cry.(OK, that one's a lie)





	

**Author's Note:**

> These are just some headcanons of mine of Jaune being Not OK, as well as everyone else, and how they deal with it. I hope you enjoy.

Jaune stares at his shield a lot. 

It had become a habit of his, even before the Fall. He would look at his shield and sword with stars in his eyes and apprehension in his stomach. Crocea Mors had been a big deal to his family, to him, a relic from his past that pushed him to be greater than he could dream. 

At least that’s what he told himself. 

Now...now Jaune sees it for what it really is. A weapon to be used in war. And a reminder of a friend that was lost. 

That, more than anything, is why he stares at his shield now. Traces his eyes over the golden symbols, runs his hand down the sides, and remembers a time when he didn’t wake up dreading the day before him. 

~

Jaune doesn’t sleep as much anymore. 

He tried, he really did. But between his mind chasing thoughts that he couldn’t complete and the fear of what he would see behind his eyelids, there was little sleep to be had. 

Eventually, Jaune got bored of dozing off, in that sweet in-between state, and waiting for the sun to rise. So he decided to put his time to better use. There wasn’t much to read out in the woods, and he was a shit drawer already without having to rely on sticks and mud, so the only thing left to do, really, was train. And train. And train. 

_ One foot forward, one foot back. Center yourself. Then attack. _

The videos had been a harsh surprise. He had honestly forgotten that Pyrrha had even sent them, what with all the running around they had undergone. But, after a frustrating night of trying to  _ remember _ what he had been taught, he had given up instead to spend the rest of the night on his scroll.

And. There they were. And there she was. 

Suddenly, Jaune found his inspiration again. 

~

Jaune remembers to eat. Sometimes. 

It wasn’t so much as he purposefully starved himself. More like, he had so many other things to think about that eating fell away to the side. 

There are days, good days, when the sun is shining high and Ruby is laughing with Nora as Ren shakes his head, amused. Those days, he remembers, can even push down the gruel that they had scrounged together and ignore the way his stomach wished to throw it back up. 

Then. There are the bad ones. 

Days when the sky seems so much darker and he watches Nora and Ren huddle close together for support. Sees Ruby close herself off. How can he eat, when he has more important things to worry about, like keeping the team from falling apart?

How can he eat when it feels like forcing down steel knives that threaten to cut him open and show them all the emotions crashing inside of him?

~

Jaune doesn’t cry. 

(Ok, that one's a lie.)

He doesn’t cry in front of them, or anywhere they can hear him. And he doesn’t cry for long. A few minutes, in which he had escaped from their curiosity by claiming a bathroom break, where he breaks down over the complete.  _ Bullshit _ . That life had thrown his way. 

He cries for Pyrrha, the girl who taught him everything. He cries for Penny, who didn’t deserve her fate. He cries for his school and all those who had lost their lives in some stupid power play that he didn’t, still after all this time, completely understand. 

Jaune cries. And then he pulls his shit together. Wipes off his face. And goes back to his team. He still has a job to do. 

~

Jaune stares at his shield a lot. As does Nora. As does Ren. 

The first few times he caught them looking, he wanted to be angry. Felt that flare of white hot pain. Because when others acknowledged that she’s gone, it’s like Jaune can’t delude himself into thinking she’s not truly dead. That she won’t come back, won’t somehow pin him with her spear, won’t tell him  _ sorry,  _ and everything won’t be ok. 

He pushes that emotion down, becomes disgusted with himself. Because Pyrrha was their friend too and how could he be so selfish as to want to be the only one to mourn her?

When he’s interrupted one day, while they’re resting and he’s sitting down staring, by Nora and Ren plopping down by him. Well. Jaune welcomes it. 

The staring is silent at first, each one of them remembering their favorite memory of Pyrrha, and how this amazing woman had changed their lives. They remember days of studying and team dinners and when their biggest concern was not making themselves look like fools during the Vytal festival. 

But of course, they can’t stay silent for long. Especially when one of them is Nora. 

“Remember that time she completely wrecked Team CDNL in front of the whole class?” 

Jaune can feel his mouth twitch into a smile. “Heh, yeah. Not as good as the time she beat Opal in that hand to hand combat simulation.” 

He felt Nora nod from where she was leaning her head against his shoulder. “She really had us going, tricking everyone into thinking Opal had the upper hand.” 

Nora hums. And then they’re silent again. 

“No.” Ren pipes up, slightly startling the two of them. “The best fight was the cafeteria one we had with Team RWBY.” 

Jaune smiles and Nora nods again. Soon, they’re sharing those stories of school life, laughing at all their past mistakes. 

In front of them, the shield lays propped against a tree, gleaming in the sunlight. Almost forgotten. 

~

Jaune doesn’t sleep as much anymore. So he trains. But he’s not the only one with sleep problems. 

That night, he had gone through the training video more times than he could count, and he knows his body is exhausted. But he couldn’t stop. Couldn’t force himself to push the pause button and cut off her voice. 

Panting, Jaune straightened his back and began again. 

“You’re foot is too far forward.” 

Jaune doesn’t scream as much as he lets out a small  _ eep _ , spinning around with his sword in attack mode. But instead of an enemy, he’s met with Ruby. She half-smiles and gives him an awkward wave, Crescent Rose down at her side. 

“Ruby?” And Jaune must be more tired than he thinks, blinking and staring dumbly at her. “What are you doing up?” 

Ruby shrugs. “Bad dream.” Her voice isn’t as light as it usually is and Jaune can guess why. 

“Nightmares?” 

Ruby closes her eyes. “Something like that.” 

They stand like that for a few seconds, waiting for the other to say something. They startle again, when the video rewinds and Pyrrha’s voice breaks the silence. 

“You, uh, training?” Ruby asks. 

Jaune looks down at his sword. “Yeah. Won’t get any stronger if I don’t do something about it, right?” 

“Right.” Ruby hesitates again. “Would you mind...I mean...would it be ok? If I were to join you?” 

“You want to join me?”  _ Why? You’re already incredibly strong. Why would you need to train, with me of all people?  _ He wants to ask, but doesn’t. He has some tact. 

Ruby shrugs again. She seems more subdued than Jaune’s used to, less like the girl who was just making fun of his hoodie. “Yeah, well, couldn’t sleep and too bored to wait for the day to begin. What better way to pass the time than with some friendly training?” 

Jaune has to blink again because  _ oh _ . And hasn’t he heard that before. “Yeah, sure. You might get bored though. I’m still not very good.” 

Ruby smiles and together they follow Pyrrha’s advice. 

It becomes clear though, that staying up all night to train  _ might not  _ be the best idea when they have to spend the next day walking. So, they make a deal. If Ruby sleeps, then so does Jaune. It’s not perfect, and they don’t always follow it, but it works for them.

~

Jaune remembers to eat. And on the days he doesn’t, his friends are there to remind them. 

It comes up one day, after they are all cozy in their bags with the fire still burning a little. The night was alive with noise, of crickets chirping and owls hooting. And Jaune’s stomach growling.  

“Jeez, I can hear that all the way over here.” Nora teases. “Didn’t you eat today?”

“Of course I did.” Jaune immediately bushes off. Then he thinks about it. “I mean. I think I did?”

“Wait? What?” He can hear rustling from Nora’s side, as she moved around. Probably sitting up. “You don’t know?”

“...No?” And he honestly couldn’t remember. It had been a bad day. Ren had shut down after discovering the destroyed village and even Nora couldn’t cheer him up. They had breakfast, but it was more like they walked and ate bars as they contemplated their next move. Did Jaune eat his? Did he eat the dinner Ren had cooked? He couldn’t remember.

“Well, why didn’t you tell us.” And now Jaune could see her. She was rummaging through her bags. Letting out a small aha, she pulled out another one of their breakfast bars and threw it at him. “Here, eat. And let us know next time.”

Jaune stared down at the bar, that familiar anxiety rising up. Then he looked up to see them all staring at him. 

He ate the bar. 

Nora did not forget. 

She would push food onto him, make sure he actually ate it. Jaune won’t lie, he resented her a little. He didn’t enjoy being pushed into anything. But Nora took his complaints in stride and continued to make sure he eat. 

Ren and Ruby caught on. 

They would be having a quick lunch, a small thing on the side of the road before they packed up and continue their walk, and Ren would ask Jaune if the thing he was cooking tasted ok. If he liked it and would like more? 

(Jaune wasn’t completely obvlious to the way Ren would also add a little extra to his plate. Eventually, Jaune didn’t mind so much.)

Ruby had as much tact as Jaune himself did (which is to say, none at all) and would blatantly call out if Jaune wasn’t eating. It didn’t matter what they had dealt with that day or yesterday or what they would deal with tomorrow. It didn’t matter if it was a good day or a bad day. If Jaune did not touch his food, Ruby was more than willing to tell him so. 

It’s still hard. Food still seemed to have lost it’s taste to him and it still feels like he’s eating knives. But the anxiety isn’t so bad anymore. Jaune will take it.

~ 

Jaune cries. About as much as everyone else does. 

There are times when the whole camp can hear Nora cry. Loud, ugly sobs that no one can sleep through. Times when Ren and Ruby and him could comfort her. And then, there are times, when Jaune can’t sleep and he hears it. A soft, muffled sob. A little hiccup. Jaune sits and sees her, shoulders shaking as she tries to keep herself quite. 

How can he do anything but go to her? How can he do anything but wrap his arms around her and let her cry into his shoulder? 

With Ren, it’s harder to tell. The man usually has such a tight control over his emotions. Jaune wasn’t sure he even saw the guy get angry before. That doesn’t mean he’s a robot though, and Jaune can see the cracks forming. 

Jaune can see the clench fists and frowns, the worried looks thrown at Nora when she’s not looking. And rarely, rarely, Jaune can see the glistening at the corner of his eyes before Ren pulls himself together. Jaune tries to reassure him as much as he can, puts his hand on Ren’s shoulder and squeezes. Hugs him, even if the other doesn’t hug back. Contact seems to be the best way of calming Ren down and Jaune does what he cans. He knows it’s not enough. 

Jaune doesn’t know if Ruby cries. 

At first, Jaune had took Ruby’s refusal to be sad as incredible strength. She kept going, no matter how many shitty things they walked into. She didn’t stop laughing, didn’t stop smiling. Jaune could admire her for that and pushed forward for her sake. 

It wasn’t till she asked Jaune to start training together, did Jaune notice that she wasn’t as unaffected as she acted. Jaune could hear her gasp when she wakes up from a nightmare. Could see her tense anytime he made a swing for her in his training. And when she’d look into the distance, frowning and somber, Jaune knows she’s thinking of everything she lost. Jaune knows she cries but can respect if she doesn’t want to show that weakness in front of them. 

He wishes he could do more for her. For now, all he can do is help her complete her goal. 

~

Eventually, they make it to Mistral. Not without more pain and horror and nightmares being piled on to the ones already there. But they made it, by their own strength and victories. 

And, as Jaune sits there with Nora’s head on his shoulder and Ren sitting nearby, he allows himself to think that he’s going to be ok. That they’re all going to be ok. There is still so much more for them to do, but for now, he has faith that they’ll make it through. 

They can never go back to the way they were before. And Jaune will never be as “normal” as he was before. But he’s coping. And for now, that’s enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments And Criticisms Welcomed!


End file.
